“it’s so silly,” she said, “that knowledge isn’t about wanting to gain understanding.  instead, it’s about soaking up as much information as you possibly can for tomorrow’s test, and then forgetting it forever.  and what’s all of it for?  a degree?  if colleges stopped offering degrees, how many people would actually go?”

this has stuck out in my mind for the last few days because i am (1) very sick and (2) very unmotivated, which is a very bad combination when there is work to be done.  rather than working, i’ve been wondering what the point of everything is.

i got a wake up call in the form of an optional assignment: i didn’t get the grade i wanted, and for two minutes i stood outside in the rain/hail/buffalo weather feeling very badly for myself.  then i remembered something one of my favorite professors said:

“in reality, any emotion should last for only ninety seconds.  so pain, anger, happiness should be short-lived.  we’re the ones that prolong the emotions by thinking about them and worrying ourselves into them.  so the next time you feel the need to wallow, remember that no one is making things awful for you but yourself.”

sure, college is hard, and it can seem incredibly insignificant.  but i was never the kind of person to give up and sit around.  so i got a bad grade: i did it to myself.  i looked around at the snow campus, looked into a drain accepting copious amounts of water, and sucked it up.  it’s time to get re-motivated.  and i’m back.

i’m also very afraid that: je ne parlais pas le français correctement!